Have You Considered The Miracle of Surrogacy?
Have you considered the miracle of surrogacy?
Sometimes life doesn’t look like how we imagined it would look. Sometimes things take longer than we originally hoped. We dream of motherhood from such a young age, practicing with our dolls and siblings. And in some cases, those prayers are answered differently than we expected. But they are answered, and they can be the biggest and best blessings of our lives. So in case you haven’t heard it in awhile, good things are coming. No matter your circumstance, incredible things are ahead. Don’t give up. Don’t lose heart. God has a plan for you, and maybe surrogacy is part of that plan.
Love notes and advice from a surrogate herself
"I have always considered surrogacy, however I chose to pursue it after having my own children and realizing what a true blessing it is to be able to grow and carry a tiny human being. After researching surrogacy a little further it really shocked me that there is such a high demand for couples out there seeking a surrogate. A good percentage are couples who have struggled deeply with loss and infertility. Having a Christian heart and knowing that I have been gifted a body to create life, it only made sense to follow my heart into helping another couple become a family. I chose to discuss the topic further with my family, friends and employers - as it is very important to have a good support system. Everyone was very supportive of my decision and so I decided to move forward with contacting an agency.
Surrogates get into helping for many different reasons. For me, personally it was to help a couple who had dealt with infertility where their only option left was to seek out someone to make their dream come true. I would also consider couples who have dealt with medical issues causing sterility such as cancers or high risk reasons.
If surrogacy is a thought in the back of your mind, I would highly suggest reaching out to support groups and learning what it means. Being a gestational surrogate or if you would choose to do a traditional surrogacy. There are different forms of surrogacy. All I can say is just do your research and learn what it is before you shut the idea down. I like to think of that saying “It takes a village to raise a baby" well sometimes someone in that village has to help carry that baby to make the dream come true.
Many people ask me “how can you give up the baby?” Simple: it’s not my baby. It’s not a child I created with my husband. The real parents would give anything to trade places in a heartbeat to be able to carry their own child. I call it a long babysitting job to make it easier for people to understand how I look at it. Babysitters aren’t keeping the kids once the parents are ready - the real parents come with open arms wanting to hold their children and care for them. That mentality has kept me from forming the type of motherly bond one would develop with carrying a child. I’m looking forward to their faces when they finally get to hold their miracle baby.
God is good, and with being good people we can do good things." - Terra den Hollander
A gestational surrogacy journey, from mama's perspective
My husband and I began our journey to start a family about 10 years ago. Our baby Finlay came into our lives on January 22, 2018. We married later in life, and by the time we began trying to have children we were almost 40.
Over time, we realized that a gestational surrogate was the best approach for us. We connected with several potential surrogates in Canada, but we didn't find a person that fit. We met Terra in the fall of 2016. She was perfect, and we would be in the delivery room together just over a year later. Terra’s sister Sheena was with us too as baby Finlay came into the world.
The experience with Terra has been absolutely wonderful. More than we could have ever imagined or hoped for. Terra is a kind, caring, smart, generous, and strong woman. She has great faith, strong values and close family support. And as my husband has said of Terra more than once, she is as tough as nails!
It was obvious that her motivation for this tremendous undertaking was purely altruistic. Terra wanted to give another couple this valuable gift that she has with her two girls. It is the greatest gift we have or ever will receive.
We agreed to be open about any decisions or discussions. That made for open communication throughout the process. Once we had the positive pregnancy result, Terra and I kept in touch almost daily. We'd check in and exchange details about the pregnancy as well as our everyday lives.
We are very honoured that Terra chose us for her first surrogacy journey. We are also very honoured to call Terra our friend and to include her in Finlay’s life going forward.
For other couples considering this route, my advice would be to stay positive. Keep researching, asking questions, and making connections. The route to our surrogate came through the many connections we had made. I would also suggest that it is important that the surrogate you are considering is aligned with your values. Ask the tough questions up front. Open dialogue and discussion is the best approach to ensure there are no surprises or discord throughout the process.
We plan on telling our son about how he came into the world. We want him to know about this amazing woman named Terra, who took care of him for 9 months and made sure that he came into this world a happy and healthy baby." - Andrea Jones
Terra's wardrobe borrowed from the studio clothing line.
"I felt so incredibly beautiful while being photographed by Karen. A super comfortable place to have precious moments captured. Thank you so much Karen for photographing the memory perfectly. You do amazing work, it was a pleasure to meet you!" - Terra den Hollander