Preparing For Motherhood After Your First Child
Newborn Photo Sessions with Your Growing Family
Meet the Tcherniauski’s! This gorgeous family brought home their youngest daughter Grace this year. We had so many precious moments together as we documented their transition into a family of five. Family newborn sessions are an absolute delight – we got to capture so many sweet interactions of each person interacting with Grace.
The transition from one to two (or more) kids can be tough, but so full of love. In this blog, you’ll find some experiences and tips I’ve gathered as a mother, and photographer of many mothers over the last 15 years.
Read on to see how you can begin preparing yourself well and how to give yourself a lot of grace along the journey.
First Child Experiences:
For some women, becoming a mother for the first time was full of celebration and community support. There were multiple baby showers with gifts and floral archways and decadent desserts. Everyone wanted to know how you were feeling all the time. You’d get text messages and cards and the kindest comments on your Instagram posts. Everyone had advice to give, time to share with you, your colleague made you homemade tea to help you with nausea, and everyone smiled at you all the time. (And if you were the first in your family or group of friends to become pregnant, then you may have gotten a little extra love from everyone!)
Your maternity clothes are brand new, and your car is still clean. You didn’t have to cook for weeks after Baby was born because family and friends overflowed your freezer with meals – and then your church community started a meal train for you. Your mother-in-law prepared enough homemade baby food to last you weeks, and everyone wanted to babysit for you.
And then you excitedly sign up for your maternity photos, newborn photos, and one-year milestone sessions. You want to soak up and document every stage of this journey!
(We should also take a moment here to acknowledge that this supported, joy-filled experience of pregnancy isn’t always true for every woman in Niagara, which breaks my heart. It’s my prayer that women everywhere could receive the love, support and attention they need when they become pregnant with their first child. I love this article in Niagara Families that provides a thorough guide to pregnancy support services around Niagara. )
Second, Third, Fourth Pregnancy Experiences:
But then, you find out you’re having another baby! You are thrilled! Over the moon! Your baby is going to have a sibling, your family is growing and your home is about to be filled with more love than you ever thought possible.
But there are no baby showers. You receive some really kind messages on social media, but you aren’t getting those daily text messages of friends checking in on you. You get a few frozen meals that are delicious and really helpful – but then by week two, you’re cooking for yourself again. You now have to care for a newborn baby and a toddler, but the babysitting offers are dwindling.
Mama, if you feel the transition from one baby to multiple babies is a difficult one, you are not alone. I know how lonely the days can feel – I am a mother of four. You want every one of your births and babies to feel as special as the first. And you and your needs are no less important just because you’ve already had a baby.
Documenting Every Stage of Motherhood with Breathtaking Photography:
That is a huge motivation behind the work I do – making sure that moms don’t feel forgotten as they transition into each new stage of parenthood.
I want to help you feel special during the pregnancy, birth and growth of each child you bring to this world. And hopefully, I can also show you how to extend this love and care to yourself as well on the days when you feel like you’re in it alone.
Booking maternity and newborn photos with your growing family are a can’t-miss item on your preparation list before your next baby arrives. It is such a special moment to capture as you transition into a new era of your family’s story. Your children may be seeing for the first time how life begins and that they were once in your belly too. Maybe you’ve always dreamed of having a big family – I love capturing the look on parents’ faces as they gaze at the family they’ve created with utter love and adoration.
I like to think those kinds of smiles are just a glimmer of the way God looks at us.
Newborn Photo Sessions with the Whole Family:
One of my favourite things about reading is the feeling you get between the pages of the book – that feeling of excitement or thrilling suspense as you flip from one page to the next, followed by that breath of relief and feeling of satisfaction as you read on. It’s such an exciting part of the reading experience!
Capturing family maternity and newborn sessions as they’re happening are like putting those thrilling page-turning moments into photos.
A page-turn moment from maternity photos to newborn family photos is so exciting! It might even be better than reading because you have the inside scoop of all the moments that happened in between these two big moments. You’ll have a collage of memories playing through your mind between each flip of the page.
And we’ll enrich both moments with the photography experience:
You’ll receive a handwritten note and a little gift of self-care when you book with me
I’ll send professional hair and makeup services to your home the morning of your shoot
I’ll coordinate and provide wardrobe options for the whole family (we just need Dad to bring his own neutral coloured pants so we get the sizing right!)
I have adorable, neutral-coloured toys and books in the studio to create naturally beautiful moments with your kids
I’ll help you select the best photos for your album and wall prints to compliment your home
I’ll professionally install a gallery wall in your home
You’re as immersed in your family story as you are in a good book. And trust me, your family’s story is a beautiful page-turner … every new page brings the most wonderful developments, discoveries and adventures. Let’s capture that in photos!
Every Child Will Make You Experience Motherhood Differently:
I have found the best way to handle the transition from one baby to two babies (or three babies to four babies) is to:
Accept the way your motherhood experience will be different than your first and stay open to the way each and every baby will bring new experiences to be grateful for.
Plus, there are definitely a lot of perks to bringing a new baby home to your children:
Your oldest child will eventually be able to be an extra set of hands for you to grab a diaper or to fill up a water bottle or to go get a new sleeper when Baby has thrown up all over her clean one
It will be amazing to have in-house playmates for your children (well, most of the time, as long as that one jealousy-inducing toy doesn’t get involved)
There will be some aspects of mothering that will feel easier after the first time, as you feel more confident and less anxious about things you did the first time
If there is one thing I’ve learned from raising four children, it’s that every child is different. They sleep differently, eat differently, learn differently, play differently and grow differently.
This means that each of your children needs somewhat different things from you. One child might react better to a more mothering, nurturing presence, while another child may react better to a more firm, structured presence. I found it was actually kind of cool to see new parts of myself open up with each new child, as I learned how to parent in a way they needed.
I really like the way one blogger described the way she fell in with her two children differently:
“If Bode’s love was fireworks, Otis’s love was a slow glorious burn, like the coziest, most wonderful burning fireplace you’ve ever had the joy of sitting by…. There is room in my heart for both fireworks and fireplaces, I love and crave them both — each in their own special way.”
But warning: it is also really exhausting trying to be everything for everyone. Switching between fun and happy mom, to disciplinarian, to calm and peaceful isn’t an easy task! None of us can do this perfectly, and it is definitely a journey of learning through each new season of our children’s development.
Have grace for yourself Mama, and when in doubt of what your child needs – be yourself. Get quiet, be still, breathe and remember who you are: you are a beautiful soul, with hopes and dreams. You are doing your best. You are supported. You are precious and valuable.
Mother from these positive affirmations and you’ll be able to be what you need – this is what your children need to see too.
Discovering Your Children As They Grow
Do your kids’ personalities align with birth order theories? Although I’d never want to put any of my children into a personality box, it can be fun, and even helpful to start identifying patterns and traits we see in our children as they grow. It can help us learn how each of our children responds in different situations. The enneagram is another framework I love to learn about and talk about with my kids.
Preparing for Motherhood Again and Again:
The last thing you need during your pregnancy is a laundry list of things you “need to do” or “should do” before your next baby arrives. There’s enough pressure on moms to try and do everything perfectly when it comes to helping their kids adapt, rearranging your home, adjusting your budget, getting everyone on the same schedule … the list goes on.
What I’m always interested in is sharing things that have helped me and things I believe might help you too when you transition from one to two children.
The number one thing: Find your people. Surround yourself with other moms of 2 or more children and you can all learn together as you go.
So, here is a list of things I would recommend to mothers who have a newborn and other children:
Ask for help: Yes, you knew this one was coming. Everyone says it – for a reason. I had resistance to it as well. I love the feeling of independence and doing things on my own. But motherhood with more than one child is just 100 times more enjoyable when you have people helping you. And the truth is that a lot of people know how to offer help for your first child, and for some reason, we need to step out of our comfort zone and ask for help when we’re on our second child (and however many children we have after that). But this doesn’t mean the people around you can’t help, won’t help or wouldn’t even be thrilled to help you! We just have to ask.
Guilt-Free Take Out: Purchase yourself giftcards from food delivery services (or set aside money), but here’s the key: do it before the baby comes. Your future self will thank your past self when you haven’t gotten enough sleep and you have no energy to cook a meal. You can just pick up one of the gift cards you already bought yourself and lean on that. No extra stress going back and forth about whether you should spend the money or not!
Practice Letting Go: Easier said than done right? Don’t I know it! I think this might be the single hardest part of parenthood for most of us. There are so many things we have to let go of from letting go of the way we thought things would be, the way we want things to be, and the way we thought our kids would be. But when we cling to perfectionism and unfair expectations (on ourselves and our children) we are only setting ourselves up for the kind of day where you’ve all cried three times by 10:30 a.m.
Romanticize Your Life: All that to say, after you’ve done some letting go and have tempered your expectations, it’s also SUPER helpful to romanticize your life. When you train your thoughts to see beauty in every little moment, you can make daily life feel like the final scene in Matilda - cute 90s overalls, picnics in the garden, rollerskating in the living room, reading bedtime stories together. Choose your soundtrack of choice (I adore Diana Panton’s jazz music for children) and head out into your day with floppy hats and rose-coloured glasses! If bowls of spaghetti are thrown, focus on that cute tomato sauce smile.
Double Strollers: This will seem obvious to some. Some of you may be thinking, “meh, my child is old enough to ride a tricycle now, they can ride behind the stroller when we walk.” If it’s still age-appropriate for your child to be in a stroller I would strongly recommend going for the multiple-seater. Here’s a scene I never want to have to relive again: carrying a screaming child, while pushing a stroller, while holding the dog’s leash, while dragging a tricycle behind me. Never. Again. Save yourself and go for the double stroller.
Familiarize Your Kids with Their Caretakers Ahead of Time: Invite potential caretakers over for playdates before your baby arrives. This really helped me make the transition a lot smoother because if my kids got to spend time with a family member or friend routinely before my next child arrived, then they had all those fun and special memories to lean on when I needed to call on them for help.
Go for the Hand-Me-Downs: Your baby doesn’t know the difference between a new swaddle and a used swaddle – I absolutely relied on hand-me-downs from my oldest children without any guilt! Of course it’s fun for us to buy a couple new things for the baby, but only to the extent that it brings you joy! I actually found it nice to spend that extra little bit of resources on things for me – things that would help me feel more comfortable during labour recovery, things that would make me feel pretty during a long, cold winter where I was stuck inside the house with the kids all day, and things I could do with the kids to shake things up.
Plan a Newborn Family Photo Session: This will be such an important experience to share as a family, getting all dressed up for the first time – for many of my clients it’s their first real outing since Baby was born! I can’t wait to talk to your older kids and hear them tell me all about their new baby sibling. I always found with my kids that having family newborn photos done really helped it “click” with them how special this time is in all of our lives.
Transitioning from one to multiple children is no easy task, but it is incredibly rewarding and meaningful. I am so honoured to get to share in the joy my clients are experiencing as they grow their family and watch their other children transform into loving big brothers and sisters.
“I think because I have such an age gap between my two girls [her oldest daughter Honor is 11, and middle daughter Haven is eight], it brought us together as a family in a different way. We really got to bond over the birth of my third child.”
I love how Jessica Alba describes the experience of having three children on her blog.
Conclusion:
Bringing a new baby home after your first child is such an amazing adventure. Second, third, fourth (and beyond) children bring out new traits in every member of your family – and also yourself as a mother. Let’s capture this new dynamic in newborn family photos just as you’re all beginning to bloom in your new chapter.
About This Beautiful Family
I have had the pleasure of photographing this growing family through the births of each of their children: Ariana, now 7, their son Jett, now 20 months and now their newborn daughter Grace. Parents Andrew and Natalia are blooming with joy as they spent some family time together documenting memories to start this exciting season of their life.
View Their Finished Artwork
- How they made their house feel more like a home -
If you want to create something beautiful like this for your home and family, message me. I'd love to give you more information on booking a portrait session here at Reflections of Life.
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Hi there, I'm Karen! I am obsessed with newborn baby yawns, giggling kids, and jumpsuits. I'm a mama of four who understands the busyness of everyday life. I've learned to love and enjoy it through lifestyle photography. I know what it’s like to look back on my children’s first years and feel like they flew by so quickly. I don’t want any other mamas to forget what their baby’s little fingers and toes looked like all curled up. My hope is that I can help you create albums and prints to serve as physical reminders of these sweet times throughout your baby’s early years. Contact me for info.
